no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
