Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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