Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
