D3 body, D1 cock
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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