I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
