i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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