whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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