i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize