I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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