I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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