Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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