They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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