That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
