margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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