So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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