Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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