im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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