Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
