well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
