come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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