Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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