You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
