I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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