Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
