This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
