So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I want a musical about memes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
