You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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