I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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