wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
