I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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