So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
