My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
