Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
