I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
