The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
wow bdsm is so cute
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
