What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
