i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
