i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
