I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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