Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
