i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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