she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The air was thick with penises
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
