No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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