Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize