last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
50% drunk capacity currently
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
