I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize