i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
