oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
