I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
