What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
