I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
