Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
