i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
