I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
