Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
