i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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