dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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