You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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