I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
