I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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