Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
