I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
this is an emotional support booty call
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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