is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
