i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize