he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
