I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
